Learning to Love God, Your Neighbor, and Yourself
In the time of Jesus, religious life for the Jewish people was shaped not only by the Ten Commandments but by 613 laws—guidelines meant to help people avoid breaking God’s covenant. These laws were intended as protection, a hedge around holiness.
But over time, many became so focused on the rules that they lost sight of the deeper purpose behind them—the heart of the Torah, the spirit of mercy, and the living message of God.
Then came Jesus, with the genius of divine simplicity.
When asked which commandment was greatest, Jesus distilled all the law and the prophets into two breathtaking truths:
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.”
This is the greatest and first commandment.
And a second is like it:
“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
— Gospel of Matthew
With these words, Jesus did not abolish the law—He fulfilled it.
Everything hangs on love.
The Forgotten Part of the Commandment
Many Christians emphasize loving God.
Many strive to love neighbor.
But too often we neglect the third element hidden in plain sight:
Love your neighbor as yourself.
What if one of the deepest crises in the Church today is not simply a failure to love others—but a failure to receive and live from God’s love for ourselves?
For until we learn to love ourselves as God desires, our love for others can become distorted.
It can become anxious instead of peaceful.
Performative instead of genuine.
Driven by approval instead of grace.
Holy Self-Love Is Not Selfishness
There is a difference between pride and holy self-love.
Pride says, I am the center.
Holy self-love says, I am beloved.
Pride inflates the ego.
Holy self-love receives identity from God.
To love ourselves rightly is not vanity. It is humility—the humility to agree with God about our worth.
We are created in the image of God.
Redeemed in Christ.
Indwelt by the Holy Spirit.
How can we despise what God treasures?
When We Love Ourselves in God
When we begin to love ourselves as children of God, something changes.
We become less interested in what others think about us
and more interested in what God thinks.
We stop doing good in order to be noticed.
We stop serving to be praised.
We stop performing for acceptance.
Because we know we are already accepted.
Already loved.
Already enough in Christ.
And from that freedom, love flows outward.
Freely.
Joyfully.
Without calculation.
Without fear.
Love Changes How We See Others
When we receive God’s love for ourselves, we begin seeing others differently.
Not as rivals.
Not as threats.
Not as problems to manage.
But as neighbors to cherish.
Even enemies to forgive.
Even strangers to welcome.
This is the revolution Jesus announced.
Not a religion of rule-keeping.
A kingdom of love.
The kind of love that washes feet.
Feeds crowds.
Touches lepers.
Carries crosses.
Rises from tombs.
The Measure of Spiritual Maturity
Perhaps spiritual maturity is simpler than we imagine.
It is learning, day by day:
To love God more completely.
To love ourselves more truthfully.
To love others more generously.
This is the whole Gospel in practice.
As Saint Augustine famously said:
“Love, and do what you will.”
Because where love governs the heart, the law has already been fulfilled.
A Prayer
Lord, teach us to love You
with all our heart, soul, and mind.
Teach us to receive the love
You already have for us.
Heal the places where we reject ourselves.
Free us from living for human approval.
And teach us to love our neighbor
as ourselves—
with the very love
with which You love us.
Amen.
Final Reflection
Jesus reduced 613 laws to two commandments.
Not because holiness became smaller—
but because love is greater.
And perhaps the Church today needs to recover this forgotten truth:
To love your neighbor well,
you must learn to receive God’s love for yourself.
And that may be where healing begins.
Thank you for reading this article. Please share with others,
Rick Herring
thmjmj@gmail.com